Assumed Competence
“Nonverbal doesn’t mean non-thinking.”
Too many parents, teachers, and therapists make the mistake of assuming a child who doesn’t speak, or who doesn’t follow commands, doesn’t understand. That’s wrong — and harmful.
Assumed competence is the radical, respectful belief that your child is capable — even if they can’t prove it in the moment. It means:
- Speaking to them in a full voice, not baby talk
- Including them in conversations
- Giving them time to process
- Offering choices and respecting boundaries
Your child may take longer. They may struggle to show you what’s going on inside. But they are in there. They are whole. And they deserve to be treated like it.
When you assume competence, you create a safe space where trust can grow. And sometimes, that’s all a child needs to surprise you.
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